2012 You were good to us.

(link)

There’s this thing I do each year. When the numerals for the upcoming year are splashed about in lights and signs, I make myself look long at them. I think about where our little family is at that moment and give thanks.
Then I tell myself,
“Before you know it, you’ll be looking at new numbers again. One year will pass so soon. Make it count.”

This little series of snapshots from our year is ours to look back on. Nothing too deep, I realize. But I wanted to capture the good, silly and what feels to us important parts. I know I’ll be doing it again next year before I know it!

xo Hillary

Posted on December 31, 2012 in Brooks, Emme, Family Time, Motherhood 3 Comments

Merry Christmas!!!

Posted on December 23, 2012 in Uncategorized 2 Comments

On Facing Things.

emme dock

These days I’m learning to face things that I normally shy away from: tragedy, fear, loving in the face of risk.  These are the things I’m choosing, I’m counting the cost and investing myself anyway. It’s not my natural bent to dive into emotions, it’s a process.

I’m finding that without knowing sorrow, joy doesn’t ring as true. Without feeling fear, comfort and calm aren’t as profound. If we don’t allow ourselves to be shaped by a range of emotions, sadness too, our lives might be neat and tidy, but our hearts will be dull.

On Friday, I found I wanted to turn away. I caught whiff of a terrible tragedy and I tried to cover my eyes and ears. I told myself, “you don’t need this now”. But that’s not a way to live.  Sometimes we have to choose to go in on sorrow. We have to really feel things to pray and truly trust. We have to let sorrow wash over us at times, trusting Him to pull back it’s tide and then sustain us.  Feeling things transforms us. We learn to see things clearly, to embrace what we’re given. Numbness is transformed into bold courage.

Our biggest fear with foster parenting was attachment and loss. As we’ve shared our story, I’ve been amazed how many families we’ve spoken to that have considered foster care, but been held back by that same fear. It’s not easy to open your hands to what promises to be messy at times.

That fear has followed me like a shadow as we’ve adjusted to life with our first placement. When you hold a baby in the middle of the night, watched them fall asleep in your arms, you can’t help but be “in”. You can’t help but attach and give yourself to them.  And I’m happy I have. My job is to love him well. To rush into the face of unknown, to invest and give. To pray for him like I’m the only one. (I know thankfully I’m not).

There have been moments where I’ve truly been afraid. What if this hurts too much? What if the courts don’t decide how I would if I were in charge?  I’ve whispered in the quiet of night, “Lord. I think we’re in too deep. It’s too late, I want to run. I don’t believe any more that you called us to this. I’m terrified.” Fear has coursed through me and robbed me of joy. I’ve let myself believe, once again, that I’m in charge and have to figure it all out.

I’ve watched my kids love fiercely. They state their love boldly to a child that’s not for keeps. I keep delicately reminding them of that, trying to put a fence around their hearts. Then I remember. He sees them too. He’s guiding their hearts as well through this. He has a plan for them too, He’s a God that doesn’t waste pain.

I’m learning though all of this. Of the many lessons in foster care, I know that one of them for me is to choose to use my heart, it’s meant to be poured out, not tucked away. When you choose to feel, you choose to trust. We are choosing to trust Him to guide us through the happy, blessed parts and the uncharted waters of sadness.  We choose to love well and to be courageous.

It’s a bold, hard thing. But it’s proving to be a blessed thing.

xo Hillary

Posted on December 17, 2012 in Brooks, Emme, Family Time, Foster Care, Love Him, Love Others, Motherhood, Orphan Care 2 Comments

A Peek At Our Week.

This post should be titled “Ride on the Crazy Train Edition”.
Between trying to be present and embrace the Christmas amazingness all around, advent madness, learning the ropes of foster care and welcoming a surprise baby human into our home, things are a little bit bananas ’round here.
Sometimes I just look around at it all and laugh. Maniacally. Then the kids get scared. I’m kidding.
But, really? I did feed my kids soft pretzels from Target for dinner one night last week.

This. This image is my phone’s lock screen. It’s kind of everything right now.

Sometimes, when I look around and laugh at the crazy that we’ve become, I take pictures too. This is what Trader Joe’s looks like these days. I have so much strapped to my body I need an adjustment.
But let’s talk about how excellent Better Life Bags are! Look at how well it works, even when there’s a baby strapped to you!

You really should go visit thewiegands.com. You’ll thank me if you do. Casey’s the real deal and her blog’s straight up dreamy. Not only that, she’s got an amazing giveaway going, featuring two bracelets from yours truly!

It’s safe to say I have a book crush on anything by Sally Lloyd-Jones. These two lovelies have been blessing us big time recently. Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing is a devotional type book for kids, but it seriously makes my heart sing too. Song of the Stars is such a beautiful book that offers a sweet perspective on the coming of Christ.

This little buddy. After a day spent being drug around from clinic to clinic for tests and appointments for his foster brother, he still had a smile. “I’m so glad we got this special time together, Mama”, he said as we rounded out the day. He’s seriously sweeter than that frozen yogurt we shared after it was all over.

So how has this week been for y’all? Adventing? Christmas fun? Time in the Word? I hear there’s amazingness going on over at She Reads Truth. I am going old school with a devotional a sweet friend gave me last December. When I can, I cozy up by the tree and take it all in.

Posted on December 14, 2012 in Motherhood 1 Comment

Foster Care Prayers.

As we’ve moved forward with the foster care process, one of the biggest blessings we’ve heard from people is that they are praying for us. We feel that continued prayer is an action step that is so crucial and desperately needed. We don’t have a lot of experience with anything at this point, but we do know that we are simply broken vessels that can only serve others if we are filled with Him.
Sometimes it’s hard to know what to pray for certain situations, so I thought I’d compile a list to refer back to. This doesn’t refer specifically to our situation, most specifics can’t be shared anyway.
These items are meant to address all children in foster care and the families and government workers involved with their care.

I believe in praying big prayers. I stand on His promises and know that nothing is too much to ask of our loving father.

1. For fulfillment of the promise that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Foster care involves a lot of weakness. Children that have been removed from their homes are in crisis, their families are obviously weak and hurting and foster families are experiencing all kinds of new things from disrupted sleep schedules to navigating court hearings. Lots of weakness, lots of opportunities for His strength to be used for His glory.

2. For children to be placed in homes that are a good fit for them. Pray that children will be protected from the disruption of switching foster homes. Pray that families that are reunified be strengthened and protected and remain in tact.

3. For foster families to be given wisdom from the Holy Spirit when receiving placement calls. Ask that they would bravely accept children into their homes, but strongly and wisely suggest another family if they feel they are not equipped to care for the child needing a home.

4. For foster moms, dads and siblings to be equipped to minister out of their hearts and homes and for the strength to remember the ultimate goal of foster care…to love and care for families in crisis until reunification is possible.

5. Pray for the family members of foster children. Pray for the “Re-s”. Reunification, Rehabilitation, Reconciliation and Redemption.

6. Pray that the Lord would find favor on children in foster care. For His protection and provision over their lives, now and in the future. Pray that He would use their stories for His glory. That He would equip them to not only lead healthy, productive lives, but that His power would allow them to be leaders in their community and agents of change.

7. Pray for social workers and their massive case loads and that they would not loose sight of hope. Pray that their time be multiplied and their decisions be wisdom filled.

8. Pray for judges, lawyers and all involved in advocating for foster children and their families. Let decisions be proper, filled with grace and justice. When appropriate, that proceedings not be drawn out to the detriment of the child.

9. Pray that city by city, church by church, the Lord would build a passion in His people to respond in various ways to those in need. Pray that every child would be given a safe, loving home and that every believer would find some way to answer the call to serve so that His kingdom will be glorified.

10. Finally, pray that children in foster care would know and believe that they are dearly loved. Pray that the Lord would allow foster families to be used to display a picture of His great love for us all. Pray that children will accept that truth into their hearts as they grow.

Please add to this list, share it and use it in the belief that He hears us. Our family would be very grateful if you added us to your prayers!

Posted on December 10, 2012 in Foster Care, Love Him, Love Others, Orphan Care 3 Comments

A Peek At Our Week.

In honor of Friday, here are some snapshots of the week we’ve had!
It’s been one for the books, that’s for sure.

It’s bottles, pacifiers and baby wearing around here.
We were taken by surprise earlier this week. We got a call to tell us our license for foster care had been approved….and to ask us if we would take a baby into our home! (We said YES!)
It’s funny. James and I focused so much on how old a child could be for us to feel comfortable having them placed with us. We talked about preserving the structure of Brooks being the oldest. We discussed breaking birth order with Emme. We bolstered ourselves for older children (in the 3-4 year old range) and all that would come with that age group.
And just like that…love snuck in. A little baby.
Tiny, innocent and helpless. A surprise.
Isn’t that how it goes, though? We never feel prepared for a calling. I just don’t think we’re supposed to be. And when we think we are, we’re shown how it’s really His plan all along.

Please join us in praying for baby “O”, his family and ours as we seek to do His will in the time that we have. We have no idea how long that will be.
And thank you to everyone who has blown up my phone over the last few days. I seriously, stone cold love y’all.
The random strangers asking questions when we’re out in public? I’m learning to love y’all.

I really wish I could show pictures of our new sweet babe. But…. I can share these babes with y’all.

There’s nothing like taking a Clemson fan and a ballerina “fishing” at our neighborhood pond.
They’re doing really well with this whole foster care gig. Lots of excitement, lots of wisdom beyond their years.
And lots of active hands trying to “help”.
A few times today I thought, “Lord, can you slow them all down? Just for a minute?”.
Or at least teach the oldest to slow his role a bit. He crazy.

And this!

I haven’t even gotten to talk about the shop. Here’s the deal in a nut shell.

Each bracelet is inspired by scripture and is meant to be worn as a means of accountability.
Think about how many times during the day, when you’re wearing something fun on your wrist you take note of it. Imagine if when you did this, it reminded you of a scripture you’re working on applying to your life! That’s the reason behind The Little Mist Shop.
I’ll be adding new bracelets shortly for other verses. And soon, some funky necklaces that are just plain fun!

I hope y’all have a blessed, fun filled weekend. I’m off to kitchen dance with a crazy cute little babe that just woke up.

Posted on December 7, 2012 in Brooks, Emme, Family Time, Foster Care, Love Him, Love Others, Motherhood, Orphan Care 1 Comment

Cheater’s Chicken Noodle

I long to be the Mom that has a hot healthy dinner on the table consistently each night.
And really, I don’t know why I’m not. It’s not that high of a goal to set for one’s self.
Honestly? It’s mostly that I forget. Not that I forget to eat….that’s NOT a problem I battle.
It’s that I forget to think ahead.
Our day is rolling, we’re doing our thing and suddenly, out of nowhere, it’s time to eat and nothing’s prepared.

A few week’s ago the kids were sniffly. We’d had a day full of cuddling and reading and the like and dinnertime reared it’s ugly head.
Determined to give my kiddos a happy, healthy meal, I raided the pantry and came up with something seriously divine. I I I called it: Cheater’s Chicken Noodle Soup.
The beauty of this recipe is it’s low prep time and simplicity.
Followed by ease of substitution. Everything listed below can be swapped out for something similar.

All you need for Cheater’s Chicken Noodle Soup is:
Chicken (rotisserie or leftover roasted). Noodles. Veggies. Broth. Salt. Curry (just a splash)
Let’s get started, shall we?

Start by cooking up some noodles, al dente style. These particular noodles are out of control.
Once done, set aside.

Cheater alert! If you shop at Trader Joe’s keep this life saver in your fridge.
Throw the whole container’s worth in a stock pot and saute away.

Add these delish power houses to your stock pot once veggies are softened and your house smells legit.
Here’s where things really get rolling. Take your cooked noodles and put them in.
Say, “We’re doing this. We’re making dinner tonight!!!”.
Then throw in some chicken. Any kind will do. Heat that all together for oh, maybe 10 minutes?
Then season. Salt and curry powder.
Not enough curry powder to make it “Curried Chicken Noodle”, but just enough flavor to make you say,
“MMMMM!!!!! What is that I’m tasting?!”.
No need to simmer long. Just warm all those cheater, already on hand ingredients together and throw them in bowls.

Serve it up with some bread (or a soda on the side….I couldn’t resist) if you’ve got it.
Sit at the table. Share a cozy moment. Vow to do it more often.

Posted on December 5, 2012 in Family Time, Motherhood, Recipes Leave a comment

We’re Not Adopting.

We’ve been asked by a number of people recently if we’re adopting.

I suppose that should be expected when you start hanging around at orphan care ministry events and leaving books like Orphanology on your coffee table.
And really, the Lord’s doing something BIG in the hearts of a lot of people as far as orphan care goes. Everywhere I look families are adopting or in the process and it’s beautiful and thrilling and a stunning picture of our identity in Christ.
But…
I know this one thing. Orphan care is much bigger than adoption. That’s just one of the many pieces to the puzzle. An enormous, beautiful and crazy necessary piece, I will say that. But, while there are 143 million orphans worldwide (and that’s the low estimate), only a fraction of those children are free to be adopted.
However, all of them are in need of gospel driven, outrageous love.
This might just ruffle some feathers, but I truly believe that we are ALL called to orphan care.
It’s just next to impossible to feel that calling in our padded American lives at times. But, if we really stopped to pray and listen, I believe we’d hear it. The call to step up, in some way.
It is, however, supposed to look different for everyone. Some may be called to give, some may be called to visit. Others are called to run alongside those that are adopting. There’s also the geographical component. Some are called to minister to orphans in various ways halfway around the world, but others are called to raise their gaze and notice the orphans in our own communities. Or on the outskirts of them.

Orphan care is meant to be one big, beautifully messy business of everyone praying for wisdom and not turning away and calling it someone else’s problem.

It’s been a learning process for our family as we’ve dealt with what it looks like for us personally to address the needs of orphans placed in front of our gaze.
I really didn’t know all that much when I first felt the burden to DO something. My eyes were open, I could see faces of children as if they were my own.
And that’s about the time that I realized, they’re all HIS own.
Amidst this awakening, I did wrongly first assume we were being called to adopt. Seemed logical in my new to orphan care mind. When my husband did not feel that calling at all, I knew I needed to pray for guidance on how to respond to the burden that felt hot and heavy and pressing on this mama’s heart.
And slowly, step by step, the path is being revealed.
We’re sure not aware of what’s at the end, but we are, for the most part, confident in where we are at the moment.

We are in the end stages of being licensed for foster care and could be receiving placement calls any day now!

While my heart for places halfway around the world is huge, Uganda in particular, the Lord has grown our awareness and passion for needs in our very own town.
He’s called us clearly to step up and do things that weren’t on our radar all that long ago.
We’re trying to cozy up with the unknown.
As far as how things will flesh out and what a number of things are meant to look like, it’s a matter of prayer.
We’re looking at the guidelines we once thought were absolutes and praying for wisdom as to whether they’re wise, God directed boundaries for our family or put up by us out of fear. We want to be sure to not say “yes” to a calling, but then devise safety nets for ourselves that could potentially end up keeping us from being exactly where God desires. Because really, nothing’s safer than being in the center of His plan for our family. No matter how scary it can seem from the outside.

So. Join us as we pray for wisdom? Okay, thanks friends.

Although we will be adding children to our home, this hasn’t been like announcing a pregnancy. We’ve found this whole business a bit odd as there are no clear expectations on our part and really no cute pics to show. In the past, I’ve posted pictures of things like my growing baby belly and nurseries being decorated to announce and mark the next stages for our family.

But for this?! I suppose I could post pics of us sitting in the doctor’s office, all 4 getting required physicals. Or of the night we tore our house apart trying to find our marriage license. (In a ziploc, labeled “important” in the last possible file we thought to check.) Or chugging caffeine at one of the trainings we’ve attended. Or me, spazzing out, on “nesting” overdrive preparing for any number of government workers to swing by for a visit.
As far as pics of the “nursery”, we’re contemplating how best to house another child(ren?) in our home. The very home I swore was too “cozy” when we were pregnant with our second. Ha! We have a spare room, but it’s currently home to crafts galore. Packed away they go!

So, join us in prayer, friends. For our family as we seek His guidance and for the amazing work that’s He’s doing worldwide and in our very own backyards through all kinds of people.

Posted on December 3, 2012 in Foster Care, Love Him, Love Others, Motherhood, Orphan Care 9 Comments

Advent 2012

Welcome, friends!

As this is the first official post in this beautiful new space, I suppose I should share why I’ve made some changes, what “The Little Mist” will be about and my heart for this blog.

And I will. But first…Christmas!!!

Our family is gearing up for a month of celebrating, centering and just plain fun. I’ll be sharing all about how we make this month special, but for today, I want to share our advent list.

For the Gardners, December is all about paring down the schedule so we can pack in as much family festivities as possible. This list may look daunting, but we really don’t do much else…all month long.
Like, really. No schoolwork, no yard work, shoot…I most likely won’t even make dinner.
We’ll probably just fill up on complimentary processed Christmas cookies and cocoa we find at various events.

And also? There’s grace. Particularly for days when we wake up and making salt dough ornaments sounds like a terrible idea. In this situation, it’s a blessing I don’t have any young readers in the family. No one has to know what the schedule actually says.
“Oh look! We get to watch Polar Express again! How perfect considering I was up twice changing y’all’s bedsheets and convincing you that Santa would NOT actually come up the stairs and ‘see you when you’re sleeping’”.

So here is our tentative, grab hold of the Holidays and Advent like a BOSS Gardner Family Activity List.

1. Bethlehem Walk. We will be with family in VA, attending this amazing event that OWNS all over live nativities.
2. Christmas Carol Singing Smack Down. This will involve a lot of Relient K Christmas, blaring as we drive 95.
3. Polar Express Night with hot chocolate and snuggling.
4. Gingerbread Day! Read Gingerbread Baby, make gingerbread houses (out of graham crackers most likely) and bake cookies. We MAY try our hand at these activities.

5. Jingle Bells and Jump Castle Party! This is all the work of my 4 year old party planner. The kid likes to mingle.
6. Take cookies to neighbors. Likely 2 day old Gingerbread (see day 4). Be blessed neighbors!
7. Family art night at our local 4 Cats Art Studio! The 4 of us will be creating a winter family portrait together.
8. Family Yuletide at Middleton Plantation.
9. Tail gaiting with friends at the Mt. Pleasant Christmas Parade!
10. Create backyard Christmas tree ornaments out of birdseed.
11. Make salt dough ornaments for sibling Christmas tree. We have a tree in the kid’s playroom called the brother sister tree. Mostly used for forced sibling bonding.
12. Christmas Funtacular at church!
13. James Island County Park Festival of Lights
14. Christmas party in Old Mt. Pleasant
15. Happy Birthday Jesus Party at Seacoast. Mama making gifts this day too.
16. Live Nativity at Sunrise Presbyterian.
17. Make luminaries, talk about the light of the world. Family fire pit night!
18. Grab some hot chocolates and check out Christmas lights around town.
19. Mail a “hug” to a friend we can’t see this season.
20. Sibling Christmas shopping. Finding gifts for each other to put under their sibling Christmas Tree.
21. Christmas Downtown! Santa in Marion Square, see the train at the Charleston Place, etc..
22. Hansel and Gretel at the Dock St. Theatre!
23. Rest. Watch Christmas movies.
24. Attend Chrismas Eve service at church…we’ve been looking forward to it all year!
25. CHRISTMAS!!!

So there you have it! A little busy, a little crazy, a lot of fun.
I’ll post more soon about some other things our family does over the month of December to prepare our hearts.
Will you join us?