So sometimes (read: always) when I walk around town with three young children, I get comments.
I really don’t fully understand this. Back when I was rolling only two deep, nobody thought anything. But three? Three makes people loose their minds in wonder and comments. Even when she’s not in her tutu!
Just drink all that in for a minute.
I can leave the house and bet the farm that before we return, at least 4 well meaning strangers will comment on my hands and how they’re “full”. And I’ll get at least one, “Oh bless your heart”.
I’m cool with it, this isn’t meant to be one of those ranting and raving posts about public comments. But it more just intrigues me. What is it about three kids that draws attention? Is it like that for others?
Please talk to me. And I’d really like to hear from families that have more than three kids. Do y’all just give up on public appearances!? Can society even handle you? Or do you just keep your “full” hands at home, away from awkward interchanges with strangers?
We do get some other standard questions/comments as well. I figured I’d share them here, along with answers. Just for fun.
1. “How long will you have him?”
That’s the first question I’d ask, for sure. And it’s the one question I’d love to know the answer to. We have no idea. It’s up to the courts and this is a really interesting thing for me to work through, running on someone else’s schedule. They don’t even consult us, can you imagine??!! Rude.
2. “Why is he in foster care?”/ “Does he have parents?”/ “What happened to him?” / “Is it because of drugs?”
When we were placed with our little handsome, the second thing I wanted to know (after a ballpark of how long he’d be with us) was some background. We weren’t told anything.
And, as we’ve slowly pieced together information and gotten his back story, do you know what I’ve learned? It never really mattered in the first place. All I needed to know was that our little babe is precious and needed a home and love. We’ve been blessed with the ability to learn more of his story, but here’s the thing…it’s just that. His story. It’s not ours to share. (We’re not allowed to anyway).
3. “Is he up for adoption?”/ “Are you looking for someone to adopt him?”
Nope. He has a biological and a current family that loves him. As for his future, it’s up to the courts to decide. They don’t give us any sway. Again…rude.
4. “How are your kids doing with this?”
Our older children are doing really well actually. That was one thing we were very cautious to monitor. We talk often about our job as a foster family to provide a safe, loving home and family to a child in crisis, for as long as the Lord sees fit. We discuss trusting in Him and His timing. I’m constantly amazed at how utterly natural this whole shebang seems to them. No matter how awkward I can be at times.
As for our youngest, our little baby for now, he’s knocking our socks off. Happy, calm, full of joy. So far showing no signs of the oddness that seems to ooze from our gene pool rubbing off on him.
5. “Do you hope to adopt him?”
I mean, sometimes I have a hard time not stuttering over this one. Especially when a minute earlier I was feeling up all the apples in the produce section, filling up our little baggie and my brain was nothing but a gentle hum. It feels like someone just said, “what color underwear are you wearing?”.
The answer….we don’t hope anything at this point. We pray and trust.
And as for what we’d like? The Lord’s plan. Nothing more, nothing less.
As for deepest darkest wishes? Depends on the day.
6. “Why did you decide to start foster care?”
I wish I had a neat little concise answer. I talked about it some here. But you know who says it so well, it felt like my own heart poured out? This girl. (She’s talking about why she’s adopting, but our whys are the same.) It’s our thang. Honestly, like she said, I just can’t stand the thought of kids in orphanages. (or group homes in our case. Or being tossed around from foster home to foster home). Our family felt that, while we can’t do much, we can provide a safe, loving home for a child that needs it. For as long as they need it. Our home is nothing but a blessing and we want to use it as such. Not a haven, tucked away for just us, but as an embassy for Him to use as He sees fit. We just opened the door. The rest is His story.
7. “Why do your older children seem to never wear clothes?”/ “Do you know your son just dropped his pants and is urinating in public?”/ “Have you noticed your 2 year old seems to be using that baby carrier as a means to shop lift?”
We’re working on it. There’s just nothing else to say.